i dun even know wad am i doing lorrs.... tomorrow is the last day of my grandfather's funeral.... i wanna go!!!! but i cant like i've said.... and you've got to know this. being alone at home is so super damn lonely. there's nobody for me to talk to, for me to play wif or wad so ever. tomorow, he is gonna be burried... i miss him. i dunno why but i'm really super damn sad. i;m afraid i might just suddenly break down and cry tomorrow in sch.... which i dun wann any of you to see that sight of me...it's such an embarrasing thing to for me to cry...from tomorrow onwards... i cannot see him anymore. NO MORE!!!! IT'S NOT OKAY!!!! IT'S REALLY NOT OKAY!!! i might look as if i'm happy, cheerful, but i'm seriously not okay....but never mind. i dun wann any of u to worry about me... maybe i should just go and hide in a corner and cry.... i need a shoulder... i wan a shoulder.... but i just have to be on my own because i know there wont be a shoulder that would just pop out suddenly out of nowhere for me.... well, i know it's time to get it over me... but i cant. i really just cant... WAD TO DO??? I DUN LIKE THIS SIDE OF ME!!!!!!!! I REALLY DUN!!! BUT I CANT HELP IT! IT'S REALLY GONNA BE MISERABLE.... AND I KNOW IT VERY CLEARLY NOW!!!!!!!!! no kidding... because i'm sobbing away while typing this post.... I DUNNO WAD IS THE F***ING THING THAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!!! I DUNNO!!!!!